i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
