Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
