And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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