her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
