if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
