I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
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