8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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