How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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