dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
