Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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