Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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