You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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