Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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