just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
