I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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