I cannot find my penis.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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