Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
