Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
