I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
