i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
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