I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
