bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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