dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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