I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize