Michael Bay diarrhea
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
