Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have post one night stand depression
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize