I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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