It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize