i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
