I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
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