Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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