is your mom at the bar?
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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