is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They are going to name an STD after you.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
