Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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