Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
