Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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