Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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