she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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