his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize