Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
