Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
It was a blind-side dick pic.
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