Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
