only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
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