Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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