ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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