? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
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