that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
