We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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