Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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