Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
