is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
