great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
