Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She tied me up with her honor cords...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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